A short(ish) story

So, umm. I have just come back from Italy and I wasn't too sure what to post so I'm publishing the story I wrote for the 500 words short story competition. It would be amazing if I could have feedback even though I have already entered it. It's called Sleeping Jade.

A girl lay silently on a bed, breathing heavy and thick like a grey cloud. Jade’s once glowing, bronzed pigmentation was now bloodless and jaundice. She had been ill since she was a young girl, and one day, her concerned parents - the king and queen - decided to get help. They summoned a young fairy, still in the middle of training. Whether the fairy muddled up her spell, or she was purposely getting the spell wrong in an act of rebellion, nobody knows.

Jade had a distant yet reliable older brother, Reuben, who had devoted his life to reading and fairy stories and therefore knew how to wake a sleeping princess; true love. King Roland,Queen Regina,and Prince Reuben invited man after man to visit their sweet sleeping Princess. A year and a half later, Captain Ricardo Smith came to woo the silent girl, along with his sister Rose. The handsome, soothing captain, to his dismay, failed to wake Jade up. As he was tired and had come a long way, he and his sister were invited to stay the night. Rose was to stay in the sleeping beauty’s room, where she sang herself to almost sleep,until suddenly she heard another voice humming in harmony with her own. Jumping, she knew who it was, “Jade?” she asked.

“Rose?” was the reply. The young woman with a beautiful smile, span Rose around.

Wedding bells sounded, as the wind ran wild in the tree.

“Princess Jade of Vautzland, do you take Miss Rose Lillith Smith, to have and to hold from this day onwards?”

“I do”

The happy couple leant in to kiss.